confidence is a myth

It's nearly impossible to be "sure" of our decisions, how can we do important stuff anyway?

I've never liked accounting. My first major in college was Computer Engineering, but through a series of unfortunate events, I lost my scholarships, failed some classes, and nearly dropped out completely. I dreamed of one day starting my own business, and my dad convinced me to get a business degree. So, I ended up with a Bachelor's in Accounting and a strong feeling that I had made a mistake.

It's nearly impossible to be fully "sure" of any decision. Certainty requires a huge amount of data, understanding, and trust. So how, then, do any of us make decisions and move on with our lives? We do things without being sure.

After college, I briefly worked an office accounting job. It only took about 3 months for me to realize this wasn't how I wanted my life to look. I put in my 2 weeks notice and, with about $3,000 in my life savings, bought a one-way ticket to Seattle to find a new life.

While traveling down the West Coast and building up my coding skills, I often heard from friends and family some variant of "You're so brave for doing this" or "How do you have the confidence to do something like that?" The truth is, bravery and confidence had very little say in the matter. I wasn't confident that I could find a better life in the Northwest, had no clue if I would be able to make it in the tech industry, and wasn't bravely facing these unknowns. Instead, my life was guided by two things: awareness of the consequences of failure and my raw, unwavering excitement.

Rather than being sure of a large life decision, it can be helpful to ask this question: "What'll happen if I fail?" If the consequences are relatively minor, or if they lead you somewhere that you can recover from, then the risk of the decision goes away. If there's no risk, then there's no need to be sure. This realization can be freeing and can open up seemingly impossible avenues for your life.

Similarly, it's often important in our lives to follow our excitement. Most things in our day-to-day aren't all that exciting. So, when we find ourselves fixated on a particular goal or path, we owe it to ourselves to at least explore a bit. Sometimes that excitement begets more excitement, and we quickly get swept away by a crazy new version of our life.

One piece of advice that I really love is “Do it scared.” We tend to get trapped in our comfort zones and fail to take advantage of opportunities that feel scary. We want to expand our knowledge so we can make that decision from a position of confidence. I challenge you to instead do these scary things, and let your comfort zone play catch up. Many of the best decisions I’ve ever made were a little bit unknown, a little scary.

I eventually made my way down to Eugene, OR, where I found a cheap room for rent and an awesome tech community. I made some friends, found a part-time job in tech, and started to see this as a real path I could travel. Rather than wasting time considering what my life could be while I was still stuck in accounting, I followed my excitement and eventually reached a conclusion that I may have never reached otherwise: this could actually work. And it did. I moved from my part-time semi-technical job to a junior developer position, which gave me the base skill set I needed to launch my career in software.

If you find yourself faced with a choice that feels impossible, with too much information to process, it can be helpful to consider the consequences of failure. If those feel manageable, then try leading with excitement rather than logic. Take it from me, sometimes this leads you somewhere better than you could've ever imagined.

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Thank you so much for reading! If you liked this, please hit the heart below. I'd love to hear about a time when you went with your gut even though you weren't sure about the right decision.

Go out there and do something scary,

<3 Jase

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This post was inspired by many articles and YouTube videos, but was especially influenced by total badass Caroline Winkler and her video, “how to become a CONFIDENT BITCH.” You should totally watch it:

See you next time ✨✨